Yes, you’ve read that correctly: after only a mere 4 months working in the Japanese public school system, I’ve decided to call it quits and I am leaving my ALT job. I know, I know, everybody back home is probably thinking the same thing — “Jack, what the hell man.” Dont’ worry, I get it. I came all the way across the world for a teaching job, uprooting my life back home and bringing with me essentially everything I own, and now I opt to throw it all away. Additionally, I’m letting the kids down and not following through with a commitment that I made, leaving my company, students, and fellow teachers hanging out to dry, all because of my immature whimsical nature to follow the winds that are blowing me on towards newer ventures.
Maybe you all aren’t as brutally critical as I am to myself, but I wouldn’t blame you for having any of those thoughts. I’m by far my own worst critic, and yet in spite of acknowledging the validity of all the aforementioned allegations, I’ve chosen to do what I know that I must do at this fulcrum-like time of my life. I gave everybody a 2 months notice that I was leaving, coincided my last day with the end of the school term, and ended my short lived role playing ジャック 先生 (Jack Sensei XD). I moved out of my quaint, seaside fisherman village Iwanai and set off for Tokyo. Before I left, I sold basically everything I owned… or at least tried to, but ended up giving away most of it. Yes, basically my whole wardrobe and belongings, sold for about $25. However, I did opt to keep my basketball shoes, even though it means lugging them along with me through the air and rural roads of all of Japan, and by God I swear I will use them again eventually on this trip.
Reflections upon my ALT career
With the conclusion of my short lived tenure as an Assistant Language Teacher, I look back upon the past few months of my life. Even though I spent most of this time knowing I would be leaving when I did, it was the best spiritual practice I could ask for. I had to ground myself where I was at, and bring my soul and energy back to root whenever it yearned to float out towards my future wandering. Fortunately for me, I was surrounded every day by the vibrant ecstasy of youth, and so it was easy to ground myself in the present when I was in my element, being as much of a goof ball as the 3rd and 4th graders who I played with every day.
On any given day, I had between 2 and 6 classes. I worked at two different elementary schools, and commuted an hour each way to both of them. Though it depended on each homeroom teacher that I was working with, I usually was the assistant teacher, and provided support to their main instruction. However, I always had activities planned for each day, and often ran a large portion of the lessons for the teachers that weren’t as adept at teaching English… which were surprisingly many of them. It was definitely an interesting experience, trying to teach a novel language to elementary kids, with a teacher who also didn’t understand said language. However, that kind of novelty is exactly the adventure I seek in life, and my time spent in the classroom definitely required more adaptability than anything I had previously endeavored in.
When not teaching, I was usually at my desk in the teacher’s lounge, lesson planning or studying my kanji/Japanese grammar. My days always including ample time playing with the kids during their morning break and at recess, where I usually got to dominate in dodgeball. Furthermore, time abounded just to chat to the other teachers as well, usually my desk mate Daisuke or the head of admin, Tom San. I was his English sensei, and he was my Japanese sensei, as our limited linguistic common ground offered ample opportunity to stretch our own respective skills.
My Departure
During the last week, I got love bombed beyond belief by all of my fellow teachers and students. They drowned me in origami, handmade crafts, picture books, handwritten notes (in Japanese AND painstakingly copied English), vintage locally made sake, sweet treats, and other farewell presents. It was definitely a heart wrenching time, but it really made me see the impact I made. Even all of the first graders wrote me notes!! So many of them wrote 大好きです, which means I love you 🥹. So, the kids were inspiring, my fellow teachers were lovely, and the job overall was easy; what more could a young prospective teacher ask for in the dawning of their career, right?
Well, I know I’m meant for more. I’m sorry if that triggers anybody who has accustomed themselves to doing work that their heart isn’t behind, but I need more. More purpose, more meaning, more self-sacrificial service towards an ideal that is transcendent of my own lackadaisical comfort. I don’t know what it is that I’m looking for in life or what it is that I’m meant for, but I feel called to something. This calling that I feel so strongly in the depths of my being, it can’t be silenced. And so, I’m leaving my ALT job.
The Closure of Yet Another Chapter
It seems that ever since I graduated from college, I’ve lived my life in constant pursuit of adventure and novel experience. I have donned new roles and forced myself to adapt to an ever changing array of environments and responsibilities. The only constant of these years has been my restlessness and constant fluidity, as I have always proved to quickly outgrow whatever it is I find myself doing. However, in spite of that, I thought this gig would be different. Oh, how I was wrong.
With yet another chapter of the Book of Jack coming to a close, it’s easy to doubt and question the purpose of this story of my life (cue Harry and Nial in everybody’s inner radio). I don’t know where it is I’m going in life or what I’m striving for, but I do get barely perceptible glimpses of it in my most exalted moments. It seems I’m gathering together the miscellaneous shards of some scattered whole, patiently and painstakingly weaving together the knotted threads of some unified pattern. I say that more with faith than anything else, but as humans it’s our individual responsibility to craft some type of myth or story for the life you’re living, and that’s what I’m working with for mine.
Looking Forward
My time spent teaching as an ALT in Japan has come to a close, but my life lived in this land of oriental mystique is far from over. Looked at through the lens of “The Hero’s Journey” archetype, it’s as if I’m leaving the magical school or academy through which I’d spent some time, peacefully becoming adapted to the new world which I’d found myself in. Or, after having spent years aboard a space craft in anticipation of the new dimension that I was journeying to, I have finally arrived and the real purpose/mission has begun.
I am currently in Tokyo, having spent some time at a hostel and aimlessly walking around during the day. Tomorrow, I head for Nikko National Park, where I’ll spend a month working at a riverside hostel, nestled within the forested serenity beyond Tokyo’s urban city-scape. I hope to disconnect from the virtual world, and truly tap into life as experienced from time immemorial: eternally beyond the artificial matrix of Chat GPT, Meta, and the vampiric energy draining vortex of social media, and simply in constant communion with the peace and love of flowing water and nature’s splendor. I’ll study Japanese, write to my heart’s content, wander through the trails that snake all through the park, and do the simple tasks of my job dutifully and diligently. Hopefully I’ll meet some cool people and get a little closer to whatever it is I feel like I’m searching for. Maybe I won’t, but I’ll be in nature, so I know I’ll be happy.
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